Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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