That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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