We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
