I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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