if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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