Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
