it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
