Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Two words: blizzard sex
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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