Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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