So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
