pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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