Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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