i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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