Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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