Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My liver just had a heart attack.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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