We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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