if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize