I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
there is glitter all over my balls
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
