were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
