grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
