ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
