K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
