Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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