Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The air taste purple.
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