did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
