Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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