Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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