I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
