Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
