I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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