Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have feelings that need drinking.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
