is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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