An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize