Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize