i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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