I think i peed on brittanys purse
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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