Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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