It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
