Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
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