you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?