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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve

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• (585): View more from New York

  he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice

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  Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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• (530): View more from California

  When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.

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• (914): View more from New York

  If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.

  (914): View more from New York

  I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (718): View more from New York

  cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever

  (347): View more from New York

  The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..

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• (210): View more from Texas

  If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.

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