party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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