My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.