Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
