Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
