Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.

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  (404): I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life. http://tfl.nu/huxl
  Replies (168) Good night (6050) Bad night (6883)
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  (+44): View more from England

  No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet

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  (+44): No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet http://tfl.nu/m8ul
  Replies (50) Good night (1223) Bad night (4568)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.

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  (360): not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible. http://tfl.nu/ukgo
  Replies (20) Good night (4581) Bad night (886)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

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  (312): Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/uk9c
  Replies (33) Good night (3420) Bad night (3743)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water

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  (508): He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water http://tfl.nu/2dzm
  Replies (11) Good night (2527) Bad night (3306)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy

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  (972): Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy http://tfl.nu/ylro
  Replies (5) Good night (863) Bad night (3000)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?

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  (801): Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman? http://tfl.nu/4t4b
  Replies (9) Good night (3802) Bad night (1221)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.

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  (989): his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/sm1y
  Replies (19) Good night (4143) Bad night (1156)
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  (619): View more from California

  I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.

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  (619): I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight. http://tfl.nu/r1ts
  Replies (4) Good night (2585) Bad night (1044)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy

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  (773): Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy http://tfl.nu/v4pi
  Replies (24) Good night (1155) Bad night (1600)
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  (805): View more from California

  we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard

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  (805): we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard http://tfl.nu/fmkh
  Replies (4) Good night (1884) Bad night (719)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.

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  (317): Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over. http://tfl.nu/42be
  Replies (6) Good night (909) Bad night (565)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You pretty much did tho

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  (248): Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum (1-248): You pretty much did tho http://tfl.nu/fp9x
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (364)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!

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  (714): I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring! http://tfl.nu/qkmv
  Replies (6) Good night (739) Bad night (332)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.

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  (612): I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear. http://tfl.nu/u47i
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (299)

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