I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
