There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
