the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
