Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
