YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize