escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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