i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she told me i tasted like america
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
