I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize