It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
