They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
