Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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