After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
