..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
there is puke in my bra ... again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
