You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
