I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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