I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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