He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
