Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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