Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
