Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just puked most of my soul out..
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