if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
