the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
