i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I looked at my own cervix.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
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Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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