when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
