I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i need an iv and a liver transplant
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
